“If he wanted to, he would.”

While trying to study you can’t help but keep peeking at your phone, hoping for a text from that special someone; just to realize that night after night you have stayed up until well past your bedtime and still, no text. You text your best friend devastated about the results of your late night. “If he wanted to, he would” is the advice she gives you. But, if he wanted to, would he? 

The phrase “if he wanted to, he would” came to life in 2021 and has remained a hot topic. In hindsight, the advice is worthy of being said. The idea is that you shouldn’t be waiting for a text from a boy, because, if he wanted to text he would. But he didn’t, so what should be done?

To quote Taylor Swift, “And I hope you know that every time I don’t, / I almost do / I almost do.” This shows the unpopular view of someone who wants to but never does. I think that the advice is faulty. Maybe that’s just for a girl but I myself am a hopeless romantic, and believe this phrase has some flaws. 

Although I am not a professional, I have often wanted to text a boy to reach out, see how he’s doing, or send a simple happy birthday text. But I never did. I had a major case of overthinking and nervousness. Maybe this only happens for girls, but I feel that thinking this would be inconsiderate of the male’s perspective. So some food for thought: perhaps, all of those times you were checking your phone, he was thinking of the perfect conversation starter. Or waiting for the courage to send the text. What if he wanted to, but he couldn’t bring himself to?

As a girl, I wish that I would never chase or beg for attention from a boy but unfortunately, it happens. Everyone has to go through a rough patch with a talking stage or relationship. “If he wanted to, he would”, has very strong principles behind it, but it may not always be true or the best advice to give. Every relationship is different and I believe that this shouldn’t be universal advice. Don’t ever waste time on someone who isn’t giving all that they should and who isn’t investing in you.