You’re hanging out with your partner for a week, and you blurt out, “I love you!” They stare at you blankly. You think to yourself, wait? Was that too soon?
February holds the one and only holiday, Valentine’s Day. A month filled either with love or regret, February calls for an important lesson; knowing the right time to say “I love you” is something we ALL need to know.
Healthline says, “As with most questions about matters of the heart, there’s no single, straightforward answer” (Healthline).
All relationships are different, and there can be a different connection in each. However, most people tend to follow the three-month rule.
“The three-month rule argues that within three months of dating someone, that person’s true personality and intentions come to light” (wellandgood).
Once a partner sees the other’s true self they could know whether or not they love the person for who they are. But some people don’t follow this rule. I am all for young love, but saying it within the first week of dating is too soon. This is quite common, and after researching this a bit more, it seems that it is connected with the idea that teenagers have likely never fallen in love before. They are more likely to trust people to be who they present themselves as when they first meet someone.
This connects to the idea of love bombing, a serious issue that people may not recognize, especially as teenagers.
The definition of love bombing, as said by the Cleveland Clinic, is “a form of psychological and emotional abuse is often disguised as excessive flattery” (health.clevelandclinic.org)
Signs of love bombing include excessive flattery and praise, over-communication of their feelings for you, showering you with unneeded/unwanted gifts, and early and intense talks about your future together.
After you realize this is happening, it could be hard to leave because you had a false sense of love and connection to this person. It changes in what seems like a heartbeat. But know that everyone deserves real love, and if you are not experiencing it currently, someone out there can give you what you want and deserve.
But do not connect the two of saying “I love you” soon with love bombing. Saying “I love you” soon is up to you, each person is different for when they fall in love and what makes them fall in love. Make sure that the other person is ready too! Research states that the best time is to say it after 3-5 months of being together, if it takes longer then that is completely okay. Again there is no set time you should say I love you or have the feeling as though you are falling in love.
