**This story was submitted anonymously to protect the identity of those involved**
An empty home. The vacancy of no one welcoming me home, except for a cat. Neglect takes many forms, physical, emotional, and many others. It also takes time to overcome. Before we start, I want to clarify that I’m safe and in a better place with more attentive care. I’ve cut contact with the reason for the neglect. The problem has been resolved, and my remaining parent has improved vastly, even if I’m not always happy with them. But, is any teenager ever thrilled with their parents?
My home situation then was never perfect. For years, my parents, cat, and I lived in a place that was on the bottom level of a rented house. Despite being so close, my parents were always elsewhere. Being left alone for years harmed my emotional state. Some people have a similar, but different situation, and they fall into drug/alcohol use. According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), as many as 62% – 81% of adult women in drug treatment have been victimized by childhood abuse and neglect. This doesn’t speak for men, but I’m sure it’s a similar statistic. I’m proud that I have no desire to do such.
While statistically, families with two parents are less likely to have a neglectful situation for the child/children. My family was not an example of that. My parents were together for very few years of my life. In these few years, these events and overall neglect were ongoing. While they were never pleased, we still had a complete family. Yet my situation only changed when we moved in with someone who cared for me without the push of my family, as we had nowhere to go. My family had gotten kicked out of our home, so the move was essential.
Most children who experience neglect often share that they remember being in a constant hard spot financially. Most are struggling to just buy groceries every few weeks. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research(NBER), during adulthood, most adults who experience neglect or abuse during childhood find themselves having trouble either paying bills or overall keeping their money. I also tend to have issues keeping track of my money. Buying things that I want because I never had the opportunity to get them when I was younger, because we didn’t have money
There are many resources to get better. While I used the human connection I had personally to heal, the resources are always beneficial to some. Some resources include;
- Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD)
- State-specific reporting agencies
- 211.org
- Findhelp.org
- National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)
- The Administration for Children and Families (ACF)
- Child Welfare Information Gateway
I promise these things can, and will, get better with the proper help. Remember this: always reach out to those you trust. Family, school staff, friends, authorities, anything or anyone who can get you to a safer environment. Unlike my situation, not everyone’s safe environment will just fall into their lap, they may need more help than that. They may need someone to be called, people to be notified, and even a court case to get the safety they need. Remember, this can happen to anyone. Never judge until you know the full story.
