Senior Superlatives

Most Likely to turn a 30-second update into a TED Talk

Ella will have a full-blown argument about just about anything that is brought up in class. She does it in a way that everyone is engaged the whole time, and obviously, she sounds very smart with her points, but it has happened more than once that a simple icebreaker turns into a 40-minute presentation from Ella.

• Written by Arabella Fourneau

Most likely to not know when someone is making a nasty joke

This sweet little innocent boy would never hurt a fly, let alone realize that someone made a distasteful or derogatory comment.

• Written by Carter Mohagen

Most likely to steal the crown jewels successfully

Arabella is stoic, organized, and strategic. She has good executive skills and an awareness of what needs to be done when and by whom. Her stoic nature allows her to be calm under pressure, and it lets her make judgments without letting her emotions take control. In a heist, Arabella would be the brains behind the operation, making sure every base is covered: security, alarms, coordinating disguises, etc. Her composure under pressure and ability to lead a small group with a diverse skillset make her most likely one who would get away with stealing the crown jewels.

• Written by Ella Maynard

Most likely to have a passport that is more active than her school email

She always seems to be going somewhere cool, whether it is China or the Dominican Republic. She has her life together and planned out, and she seems like she is just simply ready for bigger opportunities. She is independent and mysterious in a way; it feels like she could leave for a week without warning and come back with the coolest stories.

• Written by Emma Steele

Most likely to be the first person to say/do something brain-rotted

I decided to pick this topic mainly because whenever Yarely and Si are working together, most of the time they end up having a good time and most likely discussing brain-rotted topics! Other times when she’s not with Si, she can be brainrotted with other people! Other times, she says the most out-of-pocket things, but that’s what makes her win this award for the most brain-rotted out of the entire Newspaper!

• Written by Miguel-Antonio Pena

Most likely to laugh at a funeral

Every day in Spanish, I hear him laughing, whether it be his own joke or someone else’s, he always has a smile on his face. I don’t know how he is in other classes, but I’m sure other people can confirm that Carter is always down to lighten the mood with a little joke or a compliment. Being around him means having a good laugh, quoting a nice reference, and bringing a smile to your face. I think that if he were at a funeral, he would find a way to still tell jokes in a tasteful way, or at least make himself laugh.

• Written by Sascha Cacho

Most likely to be sponsored by Alani Nu

Almost every day, Emma comes to class with a fun drink, usually an Alani. Emma previously wrote an article ranking and reviewing Alani flavors. This article gained over 6,000 views, earning the #1 spot on our website.

• Written by Vanessa Garcia

Most likely to use brainrot in the nursing home

She would 100% be teaching the residents random slang and confusing everyone with the newest out-of-pocket phrases. Since she’s worked at a nursing home before, I can already picture her casually trolling the old people while making them laugh at the same time. She’s always saying the craziest and funniest things in class, so this superlative fits her. Whenever I think of brainrot, Sascha is honestly one of the first people who comes to mind.

• Written by Yarely Gaytan